Children
soak up everything they see, feel, and hear. Parents may believe they are
giving their children all the love they need, but they send a conflicting
message when they fail to reconcile their own relationships with their partners.
When
parents argue excessively and for too long, it can leave children feeling
insecure and fearful. Even if it’s not the parents’ intention to cause harm,
ongoing conflict can threaten a child’s sense of safety.
Growing
up with parents who frequently argue can actually change children's brains. Studies
suggest that even moderate amounts of parental conflict can wreak havoc on the
lives of children, disrupting their sleep and causing negative feelings in
their day-to-day lives. Slamming doors, shouting and stony silences between mom
and dad can really scar kids emotionally. Kids even feel distressed when the
parents give each other the "silent treatment" in the hope their
children won't notice they're angry.
A
child has a sense of security or well-being towards his/her family, and if they
don't have that, they feel distressed emotionally, are more prone to aggression
and hostility. Conflict affects children by affecting their sense of emotional security
about the family. A kid, whose parents fight when the child was in kindergarten,
feels less emotionally secure, or less safe and protected. Emotional insecurity
includes things such as whether the kid is upset or acts out by hitting or by
expression symptoms of aggression.
It
would be unrealistic to say that parents should never argue or should never
disagree in front of their children, arguments and disagreements are a natural
part of all relationships. Problems occur every day. But if parents solve these
kind of problems and to work it out, if they come up with a resolution or work
toward it, if the parents show positive emotion when they are in the middle of
fighting, if they say nice things to each other or are affectionate, kids see
all these things as very positive, and it changes how kids see the conflict.