1 Jan 2017

Shritika Bhardwaj

What effects does a parents fight have on children

Children soak up everything they see, feel, and hear. Parents may believe they are giving their children all the love they need, but they send a conflicting message when they fail to reconcile their own relationships with their partners. 

When parents argue excessively and for too long, it can leave children feeling insecure and fearful. Even if it’s not the parents’ intention to cause harm, ongoing conflict can threaten a child’s sense of safety.

Growing up with parents who frequently argue can actually change children's brains. Studies suggest that even moderate amounts of parental conflict can wreak havoc on the lives of children, disrupting their sleep and causing negative feelings in their day-to-day lives. Slamming doors, shouting and stony silences between mom and dad can really scar kids emotionally. Kids even feel distressed when the parents give each other the "silent treatment" in the hope their children won't notice they're angry.

A child has a sense of security or well-being towards his/her family, and if they don't have that, they feel distressed emotionally, are more prone to aggression and hostility. Conflict affects children by affecting their sense of emotional security about the family. A kid, whose parents fight when the child was in kindergarten, feels less emotionally secure, or less safe and protected. Emotional insecurity includes things such as whether the kid is upset or acts out by hitting or by expression symptoms of aggression.
It would be unrealistic to say that parents should never argue or should never disagree in front of their children, arguments and disagreements are a natural part of all relationships. Problems occur every day. But if parents solve these kind of problems and to work it out, if they come up with a resolution or work toward it, if the parents show positive emotion when they are in the middle of fighting, if they say nice things to each other or are affectionate, kids see all these things as very positive, and it changes how kids see the conflict.