30 Dec 2016

Shritika Bhardwaj

Two main things that will help you handle a breakup

It is said that “No feeling is final.” This totally makes sense as you grow up and deal with all kind of relationship melodrama.
Whether a relationship lasts for a few weeks or a few years, breakups can leave us feeling heartbroken, lost and even physically ill. But the truth is that there’s no magic formula to do away with the pain of a split or to get over your ex and move on with strength and grace.
You invest a part of you into another person when you get into a relationship and now you must to accept that a relationship that you once nurtured is dead and gone. Brain-mapping studies have shown that the same regions of the brain are activated when an addict is going through withdrawals as when someone is going through a breakup, so let’s try and get over with the breakup mourning period.

Write or Talk It Out

Breaking up with someone can feel like a major loss. It’s crucial to give yourself time to mourn the end of the relationship; however, it’s important to remember that everyone mourns differently. Some people cry, get angry, lash out, become sad, or deny that the relationship is really over or you’re likely to feel all of these emotions at once.
Remind yourself that these feelings are a natural part of the healing process and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel whenever you feel it. Although suppressing unpleasant feelings is a natural impulse, avoiding your emotions will ultimately prevent you from moving past them. Let yourself feel what you feel, without judgement. Writing out your thoughts in a journal, having a good cry, or talking to a therapist can help you process and gain the clarity you need to see why the relationship didn’t work — and why you’ll be better off without your former partner. If you feel like crying, cry and then be ready to smile again.
 

Remind yourself of all the great things in your life and do things you love

Painful breakups can cloud your thinking so that it’s almost impossible to look beyond the immediate feelings of pain and loss. After the breakup you may have trouble remembering all the things you appreciate because you’re so focused on the negative. Practising gratitude can help to even out your moods and get you get back into a more positive head-space.

Try keeping a gratitude journal to help turn your attention to the positive. You may initially have to force yourself to think of things you’re grateful for, but as you repeat the process, the bad won’t feel so all-consuming anymore. It might be hard to get excited about the things you loved  — but the only way to start enjoying yourself again is to force yourself to get out and do them anyway. Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good, whether it’s a cup of coffee with a friend or a massage. Self-care is essential to the healing process, and doing things that make you smile can help you heal. Laughing has been shown to boost mood and improve overall health, and the support of your friends will help ease feelings of loneliness and isolation.